Weeks in Review: The Last Hurrah of Summer

The Last Two Weeks, I was…

I had a bad day at work last week. Actually, more accurately, I was in a bad mood from work one day last week. This has been happening a lot lately. All these little things that happen put me in a crummy, angry, frustrated, defeated mood (even though a lot of good happened too) and I let the little bad things ruin my day.

As this kept happening, I thought, “that’s enough. Why am I letting small interactions or circumstances completely derail my day? I want to be in control of my mood and my responses to things, not have them controlling me.”

Easier said than done.

It keeps happening. I keep letting the bad dictate my mood. So, this time, as I drove home in a huff, letting all the crummy things from that day and the many before it fly around in my head, instead of trying to just stop being upset about them, I asked myself, “Why am I upset about these things?”

I went through each of the interactions and problems and realized that in all of those situations, something happened that make me feel unseen and/or disrespected. Even if it was something small, that big feeling is why it upset me so much. Apparently, being seen and respected or valued are very important to me.

The thing is, I know I’m seen and valued at my work. Sometimes life happens and people might not show it, but if I took a count of all the interactions and circumstances at my work, the majority would show that I’m seen and valued. But that’s the sneaky thing about bad emotions, they stay in your head and cloud your judgment.

That’s why it’s so important to remember the truth from the gospel-

Even if others don’t see me, Christ sees me.
Even if others don’t value me, Christ values and respects me.
Even if I feel something, it doesn’t mean it’s reality.

Once I was able to identify why things bothered me so much, it was easier to brush them off and move on with my day. When I know my value is not defined by how my coworkers treat me or my work quality, I am able to not let those things derail my day. I just had to identify the root of those feelings.

And I had to remind myself of the truth and good. Sometimes our feelings don’t tell the truth. I let the use of a word make me believe a person hates me even if all their other interactions communicate the opposite. That’s why we need others in our lives- to help us see reality when our feelings distort things.

And sometimes you have to remember and remind yourself of the good. At a work event this summer, one of my coworkers encouraged the staff to make sure that they remember and tell the full story of their lives- the good and the bad. If you only share the bad, it’s incomplete. There are weeds and there is wheat.

²⁴Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; ²⁵but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. ²⁶But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. ²⁷So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ ²⁸He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ ²⁹But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. ³⁰Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn. – Matthew 13:24-30

Yep, sometimes life sucks. Sometimes people are awful and make us not feel loved or valued. Sometimes things happen for no good reason. And I don’t say that flippantly. But if you’re like me and are sick of sitting in the ick and want to rise above it, remind yourself who you are in Christ and remember the goodness that is sprinkled in the mess.

It’s officially the last day of summer! I feel like this summer went by much too fast and I hardly did any summery things. Aaron and I declared that we’re going to hit summer hard next year to make up for it. We tried to make up some of it these last two weeks of summer. Here are a few of things we did:

Ice Cream at Nelson’s with the Fam!

Realizing my childhood dream of seeing Tim McGraw and Faith Hill!

Anniversary #2!

What a Stud.

Piggin’ Out at the State Fair

Things Done Off Camera-

Small group pizza night
Book Club with wax skin treatments and a movie
BBQ and game night with a friend
Birthday dinner with dad
First football game of the year
A housewarming party with all our friends
Breakfast crepes in the backyard
One last day at the lake

Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is the one artist that I buy every record. I can’t even help it. No matter how ridiculous and far from country she gets, I still love her. My friend Kryn and I were watching her eclipse and snake social media antics with bated breath and I bought her new song first thing the morning it came out.

And I didn’t like it. It’s so over produced and she’s talking for half of it and she’s totally playing the victim when she’s one of the most powerful people in the world, get over it already, Taylor and take some responsibility. And I don’t want the old Taylor to be dead- I loved the old Taylor!

But it was oh, so catchy. I kept having to play it.

Then the video came out. AND I LOVED IT. AND IT MADE ME LOVE THE SONG EVEN THOUGH I STARTED OUT HATING THE SONG. I love it when people can make fun of themselves and have all these hidden, secret meanings in their work. I’ve watched it all the times (and have watched all the deciphering videos of all the hidden meanings in the video) and still love it.

Yes, it’s a bit petty and self-absorbed. But why does everyone have to criticize everything everyone does? There’s always going to be a way something is insensitive, out of touch or not a good use of “one’s influence.” Why does it have to make a statement? It’s a pop song. Just let it be a pop song. Just let people be human and imperfect sometimes. Ok, rant over. We’ll see what comes next and if I’m still a fan when I see more of Reputation.